And You Will Know My Name is The Lord

Saturday once again. Damn that was a quick week for me. It seems like only yesterday that I was talking about whatever the hell I was talking about last Saturday. Eh, whatever.

My lazy and/or forgetful boss almost didn't send me the comics he liked, or hated or whatever, this week. Lucky for him I forgot it was Saturday anyways. I woke up and checked my e-mail and I would have gone back to sleep, but there was an awesome deal that involved some guy in Nigeria giving $4 million. So I sent him my bank number, which I stole from some old guy, and checked my e-mail again and what do you know? Bryce sends me an e-mail subject line: sorry sorry sorry. I don't know why he's so sorry, it's not like anyone gives a shit about Saturday at the DCR.

Well that's my story. I hope I didn't bore you to death yet because here's the weeks comics:


Scary Gary 1/27/09So I am to understand that the guy who can't sleep is a vampire, right? So what is the little guy? And why does he say "'night"? Vampires sleep in the daytime, if I haven't lost my mind yet. At any rate, the vampire must be pretty stupid to think that it has been storming that violently for three days. If it had been, the basement that he sleeps in would have flooded by now.


Crankshaft 1/25/09
Dear god. I can actually empathize with Crankshaft. This happened to me just a few days ago. Only I didn't say "Blast", I said "Motherfucker, god-damnit, sonofa bitch".

I used to work as a waiter/bartender and I know it can be hard sometimes, but come on. How hard is it to push a button? I, at least, had to write everything down.

And no one would ever say that to a customer because they would be fired on the spot. If the customer says something is wrong, guess what? Something is wrong and you fix it for them.

Damn, I am pissed right now and I don't know why. The last one of the day:


For Heavens Sake 1/26/09
Wow, now I'm really pissed. I'll try not to go on too big of a rampage, but I can't promise anything.

What kind of Bible says GPS on it? I've never seen one. Real GPS systems aren't usually that awesome, they fuck up a lot and can lead you in the wrong direction, so I guess it is a good fit to call the Bible that.

And has anyone really tried to live their life according to the Bible? And don't tell me about that guy who wrote a book about it, I already know. Here's the thing, in the Bible women have only slightly higher stature than sand, anyone that doesn't believe in god* is a sinner and will suffer for eternity even if they are morally superior to people that do believe in god. Here's another thing, for Christians the Bible should be much shorter than it is. Does anyone recall when Jesus made a new covenant? That effectively makes the Old Testament meaningless, yet fundamentalists use the Old Testament for a variety of insanities. Yes, the Old Testament does say gay sex is bad, but it also says women that are accused of being adulterers should be stoned to death(that doesn't mean smoking a shit ton of weed).

OK, I'm starting to come down now. Wow, I hope I didn't offend anyone**. Well, I need to go and start drinking now. Sorry if I got a little heavy on you, I know you guys just want to laugh but it's good to think sometimes too.

Webcomic of the week will not be up today because I need to do some things unrelated to the internet(aka school).

*I know that god is supposed to be capitalized, but since I don't believe in him, I'm not going to. Suck on that god.
**Yes, I did, but only a little bit.

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The Worst Comics So Far For 2009

As the new year rolled around at the start of this month, I felt a distinct lack of any sort of lists here on the DCR. In an effort to remedy this for next year I will attempt to bring you the worst comics of the month at the end of every month and give you all a chance to vote on them. At the end of the year we will bring you all the monthly winners (losers) and crown the worst comic strip of the year! Without further ado, here are your nominees for January.

Crankshaft 1/24/09

The worst comic shouldn't just make you groan in pain at the "joke", it should make you wish you'd never learned to read in the first place. Thank God they never turned Crankshaft in to a TV show.


Shoe 1/24/09

Sometimes creators do a joke that would kind of work if it was read aloud, but because you're reading it, the word play is just awful. Situations that would never ever happen in reality also make for poor comic fodder. No teacher would EVER ask this question on a test, making the entire strip irrelevant.


Only two nominees for this month, but you can help for February! Submit your nominees for worst comic of the month by sending us an email whenever you notice something really horrible. Please keep it to syndicated print comics because people can put anything, no matter how awful, on the internet for free.

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Thursday Night Fashion Report

Good evening Blogistan, I it is I Stella Tamzarian, Action Librarian here to report to you the Weekly Fashion Report of the criminally color-blind comics! Now I suppose we shouldn't blame the characters themselves, they don't have a choice in what they wear. No, we should be chiding the drunken cartoonists themselves for creating the strange get-ups we see every day on the comics page. They get up at the crack of noon, do a couple lines of blow and start drawing Ziggy with no pants. T'aint right.

Anyway on to the coke fueled fashion nightmares.

Curtis: 01/25/2009


This gorgeous Bear Fest is provided by the Patriotic Three Stooges Society. Don't ask why three half naked hairy guys are whooping it up for Obama, crashing baby showers, grooming each other's chest hair. This is another example of Drug Induced Cartooning, a crime often committed by the folks over at Curtis Inc. If anyone understands the purpose of this cartoon please let me in on the secret.


Judge Parker: 01/25/2009


I've never read Judge Parker in my life. Not once. But I feel that I can make a guess as to what is going on in this scene. Abbey was the babysitter for wealthy businessman Sam and his psychotically violent daughter. An attempt to get "Soph" to take a nap went horribly awry and Sam came home to find the Babysitter/ his lover dead. Strangled by his mentally disturbed spawn. Luckally for him and his reputation, Sam Co Enterprises has just secretly developed time travel technology. Sam travelled back to 1992, when Abbey was just getting out of high school and her Boys II Men obsession, and brought her back to the present time to be the babysitter again.

How else would you explain that sweater/ vest combination?

9 Chickweed Lane 01/27/2009


I didn't know Seth was dating the 2nd runner up in the Charles Manson look alike contest. The beard needs to be poofier, like birds and other critters have taken up residence there. I will admit that I actually laughed at this particular comic, inside, where the shame lives in the dark. I think its the third panel. The look on that Homeless Professor's face made me chuckle, what can I say? Though, may I ask, why does Seth insist on wearing a neck brace around all the time?

Archie: 01/26/2009


If by "busy" you mean "like crazy Aunt Millie who has 15 cats and makes lewd gestures with potato salad at Family gatherings." Then yes Jughead, I would have to agree with you there. I feel for that librarian in the background of the first panel. It probably isn't the first time she's had to deal with pill popping teenagers who think they're insane church ladies, and it won't be the last time either.

Cleats: 01/23/2009


No, Blond girl whose pony tail is larger than her torso, your friend is not a "fashion-clown" as you so wittily state. She is suffering from what is known in some Doctor Comic circles as "Reverse Popeye Syndrome". Instead of the forarms becoming abnormally huge, the calves balloon up to 4 times their size. Oh you may scoff at their affliction but they go through a lot of pressure trying to hide their disease. Even buying Giant tube socks to cover their shame. Maybe instead of giving her names like "fashion-clown" or "dumpy stumps" you should give her the one thing she really needs, understanding.

Good night folks!

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The DCR Does Facebook

Thanks to the Intrepid xy, you can now join the Daily Comics Review Facebook group! You have to have an account of course, but it's a great way to connect with other DCR fans (we really need a catchier name for you handful of loyal readers) and you can pry in to the personal lives of the writing staff. Not like you need any more incentive to join now, so here's the link!
The Daily Comics Review Facebook Group

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And We Now Go to the Newsroom. Bob?

Thanks Jim. Well, here we are again. Another week has passed and you want to here the news. Or maybe you don't, I don't really care.

As always stories appear via The Daily Cartoonist


1/26/09:
The Louvre is having an exhibit on comic strips.
Yeah, you read that right, THE LOUVRE, the most famous museum in the world. Don't worry though, they still don't think comics are art.

French bastards.


1/28/09:
Stan Lee Media is suing Stan Lee.
Do I really need to say anything else? I guess it sucks for Stan Lee, sounds like he loses no matter what.

I don't really know what the case is about, but you want to try and decipher the legalese go here:
LINK TO STAN LEE SUIT


1/23/09:
MAD magazine is now quarterly.
Frankly, I'm surprised it's still being published at all. Why would someone pay for humor? The internet offers scads and scads of it for (mostly) free, internet like us here at the DCR. Besides mags aimed at younger folks have been going under pretty frequently lately. EGM closed down earlier this month, after nearly 20 years, Games for Windows, and some others are now just memories or have content on the internet for free.

God help us if everyone starts charging for content on the internet, besides your ISP, what the hell would we do then?

Good night and good luck sleeping, unless you get the antidote. Mwhahaha. Just kidding.

Or am I?

I am. Good night.

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If Only There was Something Between Us, Besides These Comics...

XKCD 1/28/09

Carlos Mencia was a little bit funny when his show first premiered on Comedy Central as some sort of Mexican Chapelle's Show. Carlos is no Dave Chapelle, and his real name is Ned. He is offensive only for the sake of making money and unlike the DCR he actually convinced some one to pay him.


Close to Home 1/28/09

Close to Home is syndicated in hundreds of newspapers around the country, but somehow the editors allowed this strip about killing your mother-in-law through. Maybe it's because there is no blood, but the image of a lady dragging the bound and bagged up body, possibly on her way down to the nearest pier or local pig farm, is still profoundly disturbing and has no place in a family newspaper. It does just fine here though.


Drabble 1/28/09

Speaking of more non-family friendly shit, how about a comic strip about a guy who'd rather jack off than do it with his wife? THAT SHIRT HE'S WEARING USED TO BE ALL BLUE.


Ferd'nand 1/28/09

Consistency, consistency, consistency. At least they kept the correct leg broken throughout the whole comic.

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No More Mr. Nice Guy

We've received a lot of notice for yesterday's post, which in my opinion happened to be one of the nastiest I've done in a while. So if it's what the people want, it's what the people will get! Don't say you didn't ask for this.


9 to 5 1/27/09

What the hell is going on here? It looks like this guy's electric buttplug has sprouted legs and a mind of its own. Now Perrywinkle(sorry to anyone who is named that) is off to take over the world!


Barney Google and Snuffy Smith 1/27/09

~Groan~ Old Biddies!! When you actually look at the word "groan" it seems very wrong.


Frank & Ernest 1/27/09

NO. YOU DO NOT GET TO BUTCHER STAR WARS F&E. I know bad jokes and grandpa-ish puns are your thing, but Star Wars is sacred so keep your fucking hands off it! And shave those god damned noses!

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Billy is a Whiny Little Bitch

I have no idea how it happened, but somehow dailycomicsreview at gmail.com got added to a press email account for Suicide Girls and they have been sending us occasional comic-related articles. They've got a great new one called Ten Lessons Spider-Man Can Teach Our First Nerd President. I am totally dropping this link because it's a good article, not because I'm hoping they will send me a free membership to ogle their models naughty bits. Yeah, it's not a website you should visit at work, in case you're totally out of the loop with Internet smut. And oh yeah, Billy is a little bitch.

Family Circus 1/26/09

Did the Family Circus start before backpacks were invented or something? Perhaps these tough economic times are hitting this all-American family harder than others. I don't think I have ever seen either of the parents working, "daddy" is only ever seen "returning from work" and God only knows what he does for money.


Wee Pals 1/26/09

It can sometimes be advantageous to deal with illogical comics with a numbered point strategy. 1: Kids are incapable of ever getting enough violence or sex on TV.
2: Who is this fucking bum hanging out in his house while he's watching the television?
3: Children only watch the evening news if their parents force them to.
Wee Pals - you guys are out of touch with reality.


Crankshaft 1/26/09

Evil never grows old, evil never dies. It just gets held up in line at the DMV sometimes.


Cul de Sac 1/26/09

'Splut' is the best sound effect word for all of January, and it will be an extreme challenge to top it over the course of 2009. Thanks for setting the bar so high so early Richard Thompson!


Working Daze 1/26/09

Consider this our entry John Zakour and Scott Roberts. I would like a mug. You draw the prettiest confetti I have ever seen! Also we are suckers for contests and think they should be encouraged more often, so kudos to you Working Dazers!

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Sunday January 25th

Alley Oop:



Presidential pardons? I know this is a comic about a time traveling caveman, but come on! You do those before the new guy comes in. Besides, the current lame joke to show that you get the politics is "I'm getting a bailout!"

And more dinosaur drawings. That green one looks more like a person, but then again, I can't draw a circle without a guide.

Oh, now that I've read more than the bold words in the second panel, I see this has to do with an ongoing storyline. And yet we return to the idiotic dinosaur scribbles!

I really wanted a follow-up with Oop's angry friends. Maybe next week?

Andy Capp:


A mother-in-law joke? Oh, well. At least they spread it out a bit so it doesn't seem quite like a daily stretched to a Sunday.

And who says anyone over the age of 18 looks stupid? There are much better adjectives out there. Wouldn't he have been stunned by her ugliness? A stupid look usually refers to an outfit or makeup and can be changed. This is a mother-in-law "joke," and all mother-in-laws are ugly, and that's not changing without some plastic surgery. They're fat and mean too!

I don't know, I'm not married, and my parents weren't married long enough to provide any real life examples (only 14 years, and most overseas away from family), and even the worst sitcom I've seen - maybe the Honeymooners, though it's good, and mostly...

Wait.

MIL "jokes" are about how domineering they are, they're rarely if ever about looks. They're about how to raise the kids. Are you feeding my kid (the spouse) right?

I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. Let me go back to my movie.

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Space Moose: Coast to Coast(in Canada)

Another installment of your favorite, well, my favorite feature: WebComic of the Week!

That's right, with another Saturday comes another recommendation.

This week's choice isn't a webcomic per say, but it is a comic and it is on the web. It was originally published in a student newspaper called The Gateway. Unfortunately, it is not a current, but it is funny and possibly offensive to some people.

Space Moose

Space Moose was published for 10 years in the University of Alberta's student newspaper. Obviously Canadian school don't care what you say in the student paper, cause Space Moose regularly crosses the line and always nudges up against it. Not all the strips are colored and the art isn't particularly well done, but the punchlines are guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, or at least make you think.

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The First Saturday of the Rest of Our Lives

Welcome to yet another Saturday and the first weekend with Big Brot.....I mean Barack Obama leading the way. It's been less than a week and he's fixed all our problems already.

Wait, we still have problems? NOOO!!! Obama said it would be different now, he said it would all change!! Why!! Why did I believe him? OhhBama, why have you forsaken us?

What's that? You say I should give him a chance? He needs more than four days? Well, I guess that sounds reasonable. Okay, I'll give him a little more time, but only because you say so; if he doesn't fix things soon, I'm coming after you instead.

Well, let's get to comics and leave all this political stuff for another day. Bryce only had one, one, recommendation this week so the others are my own choices, can you guess which was his choice and which were mine?


Rip Haywire 1/20/09
Wow, gripped by a grippe. Get it? Cause I didn't, I had to look up what grippe meant. Turns out it's an old word for influenza. See that means it's funny cause he might have a life-threating illness, those are always funny.

It's also funny because his dog is a pussy. Get it? See, the dog is really a coward. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wow, this strip is disappointing so far, I hope it gets better so it sticks around.


Frazz 1/20/09
How are those two things related? Christmas is actually a religous holiday, even though it really isn't(you can do your own research about that). Inauguration day shouldn't be a holiday because it only happens every four years. We have to go to work or school on Leap Day and Voting Day so why should Inauguration day be special. The fact that a black is president isn't a reason for a holiday, I have a feeling that it will become more and more common.

Women ain't ever gettin' in the White House though. Sorry ladies.


F-Minus 1/23/09
Just what is she planning to do? I certainly don't know what you would do with a large CENSORED sign. Perhaps she is planning to be in the studio audience of some unknown TV show and wants to make sure that she is properly equiped in case of unanticipated nudity. Personally, I would make sure I had tear away pants, but to each their own.

Have you figured out which was Bryce's comic? Too bad if you haven't because I'm not telling. Bryce might tell you if you ask real nice but by then you'll have forgotten this entire day.

Well, that's another week down. Maybe the webcomic of the week will be up sometime today, so look for that later.

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The Friday Briefing - Comics Style!

Let me just say this: it has been a very long week and my creative juices ran dry on about Tuesday. So you get what you get; one bad comic strip and some self-indulgent news!

Gil Thorpe 1/22/09

It might not be such a struggle for the boys if they weren't playing with a basketball twice the size of their heads. I guess they figured with his monstrous pinky finger the guy might have better handles, but his scoliosis should have disqualified him from playing way back when he took the required physical examination. These kids are mutants, what the hell is in the water in Milford?



Pab Sungenis just recently released his third collection of New Adventures of Queen Victoria, titled Norton Hears a Who: and Other Stories. Yours truly is featured on the back of the book, from one of my past quotes about TNAQV! This might be the first time the DCR has been printed in any form outside of the blogosphere and we'd like to formally say thanks for the recognition! We should really add something to the blog about good strips so TNAQV and other quality strips actually appear here from time to time. If you're interested in picking up a copy it is cheap and full of laughs! Follow this link right here. There is even a preview view where you can read my back page quote!

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Thursday Edition: Fashion Follies of the Funnies

Hello all. If you aren't aware of any new goings on at the Daily Comics Review then let me be the first to tell you that I am the new Comics Fashion critic for this lovely blog. Not only will I be complaining about the god awful clothes that the comic characters will be wearing but I will often be commenting on their unspoken sexual proclivities, particularly of the ghey nature. Fashion and Homosexuality, two tastes that taste great together.

My nom de plume is Stella Tamzarian, Action Librarian because I like when things rhyme, it makes life more festive. I am an actual librarian from the Detroit area, and no I will not buy you crack. I am a member of the Queer Community, thus insuring my Comics Gay-dar is always finely honed for your pleasure. I like beards and ice cream, but not at the same time.

I apologize for the lateness of this post but I am recovering from my trip over to DC for the Obama Inauguration. It was a long, cold day to be celebrating America and when I woke up this morning I felt as though Liberty beat my ass with a tire iron. I hurt in places that didn't make sense. Anyway lets get to the fashion follies of the funnies...

Yenny: 1/21/2009

This is one that Bryce pointed me toward, and with just reason. From what I understand Yenny is about Puerto-Rican Supermodels who run around with the least amount of clothes that the Newspapers will allow. Everything is draped over horribly exaggerated body parts. In this case, the man-whore Yomar is being forced to wear a tiny suit jacket designed for Organ Grinder monkeys. I may not be an expert on abs, fitness or tiny monkey clothes but are abs supposed to be concave? The only thing that outfit is accentuating are Yomar's child bearing hips and his deep self-hatred. He'll be a model yet!


F Minus: 01/18/2009

And this horrific spectacle comes from the other side of the spectrum, the fat baby fetish side. I wasn't sure what creeped me out more about this panel, the potato-like torso struggling out of the tiny shirt and diaper or the seemingly dismembered arms hanging out of the sleeves. I'm not exactly sure what is going on in this comic but I think that the husband is competing for attention from his wife the only way his inadequate brain can manage, by dressing like a baby. For your information folks at home, there is a legitimate fetish out there where adults dress as babies for sexual kicks, you may have seen it in all of its glory on an episode of CSI. I can't tell by the look on the wife's face if she's a Diaper Lover or not, the raised eyebrows are as ambiguous as they are raised but the angry baby eyebrows are priceless.

Wizard of Id: 01/17/2009
The Furry level? Can you yiff down a mountain?

Zits: 01/21/2009

Even though in the Zits universe everyone is constantly using the latest in modern, old-people frustrating technology the fashion is still very much based in that horrible period of the 90's when Blossom was a popular television series. Vest, large ugly hat, huge hooker earrings and lots of lipstick were trademarks of the Reality Bites soaked youth of the 90's and its still terrible. I haven't seen a teenager wear a flannel shirt since Kurt Cobain died, unless you count Baby Dykes but even they dress like hipsters now a days. Either the writer of Zits is an old man who has no idea how kids today dress or he has stock in the Clarissa Explains it All inspired clothing line and is trying to drum up interest. Either way its sad.


Curtis: 01/17/2009
OK, this is pretty normal for the Comics page but this just bugs me to no end. Why the hell is Curtis's hat so damn huge? And when have you ever seen somebody wearing a hat that looked like that? The laws of physics are being willfully ignored by this monstrosity of a hat and apparently he wears it to bed too! Normally I dig Curtis's style, everlasting as it is. He's got a sharp sweater and collared shirt thing going on complete with pristine white sneakers. Kanye West would be so proud if he existed on the same level of reality as the rest of humanity. But that fucking hat is obscene, thus provoking this theory about Curtis, the hat is covering a large growth that juts from the side of his head.

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And now it's time for a News break...

It's news day once again. I bet you're excited, I can tell. Wait, you aren't? Well why not? You hate news? Oh, well that's too bad cause I'm not going to stop now. You'll just have to read my somewhat plagiarized post.

From Jan 19:
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution restores two comics!
"Kevin & Kell" and "Judge Parker" are coming back after 18,000 votes were counted. "Mary Worth", "Mark Trail", and "Cathy" are among those not returning. They, apparently, will not me missed, at least not very much. Now, if only I could get my local paper to drop "Mary Worth" and get something interesting.

From Jan 20:
Aaron McGruder said that President Obama "is not black because he isn't a descendant of a slave." He also says Obama won't be a major change from the past.

Remember, don't kill the messenger, these are his words, not mine.

From Jan 21:
Aaron McGruder denies saying Obama isn't black.
Apparently the media twisted his words around. As I wasn't at the speech, I can't tell you what he did or did not say, only what he is reported to have said(on account of my journalistic integrity). You'll have to read all the reports and decide for yourself.

From Jan 22:
Scoot Adams launches new business using "Dilbert".
Dilbertfiles.com is a file transfer service for files too large to be emailed.
I hope this catches on, we could have Garfield pimping McDonalds, Marmaduke selling To Serve Man*. It would complete the commercialization of our culture.

January also marks the 10th anniversary of "Secret Asian Man", a comic that is frequently seen on this site and my own.

Stories appear via The Daily Cartoonist

That's all the news that's fit to blog about for this week. I really do hope that you at least get some joy from reading this stuff. But even if you don't I going to keep doing it.

Good night and remember to tip your baristas.

*Congrats if you got the pop culture reference

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The 4th Panel Comics Expansion

What would happen if you added another panel to these comics strips? Lots of insulting and anger apparently. As far as I can tell, every comic strip is full of boneheaded characters. As annoying as that can be, it would be much worse if every strip was like 9 Chickweed Lane and everyone was a Fulbright scholar.

Mark Trail 1/21/09

"And then I'll watch you eat it, bite by bite..."


Gasoline Alley 1/21/09

"Oh wait, that's impossible. Yow, I'm a fucking idiot!"


The Amazing Spider-Man 1/21/09

"And you're a moron, even for street urchin!"


Wee Pals 1/21/09

"Why am I the only stupid Asian kid with glasses in history?"


The Lockhorns 1/21/09

"You see, he's a pig. You gotta accept we only have 3 different jokes we can do from day to day."


Wizard of ID 1/21/09

"Even though you're just trying to give me something entertaining to watch while I'm in this prison for the next 100 years, I'm still going to be a huge dick to you."

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The Daily Comics Review: Inaugural Edition!

Today was a big day for the world and for the USA. Because we're not a politics blog we'll keep the Obama loving down to our first comic only. GOBAMA!

Diesel Sweeties 1/20/09

Diesel Sweeties wins the award for best inauguration day themed cartoon! There were a ton of them out there, mostly horrible, but not all of them!


Alley Oop 1/20/09

Change is all around us! As you can see the Bender's (the couple that draws/writes AO) finally decided to get the story moving along again. Nevermind the story though, Doc Wonmug has a computer that he can use to look in on anything in the past! How is that at all possible? Second question: where can I get one? Talk about a voyeurs ultimate dream.


Judge Parker 1/20/09

So we go from a murdering sexy striper storyline to some middleschool cat fight? This might be the biggest swing from semi-interesting to utter boredom JP has managed yet. They could fix it all by throwing in handful of car bombs; you can have that idea for free JP writers.


Reality Check 1/20/09

Have you ever noticed how all stereotypical cavemen speak awful basic english? REALITY CHECK: english didn't even exist back then. OOGA BOOGA OOOOOOOGA.

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Monday, Monday, Monday

Secret Asian Man 1/19/09

Today is a holiday, so what the hell am I doing posting today? I really should have taken it off. I read every comic and only found this one. Thankfully I do have MLK day off work. Tomorrow is inauguration day! The long nightmare in America will finally be over.

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Sunday January 18th

Alley Oop:



Only one dino pic this time! Progress!

But plotwise, we're back where we were when I first saw this miserable wreck - Oola is mad at Oop, but at least this time, he knows why and he's mad too.

Maybe this means the last of the dinosaurs?

Andy Capp:



Second week in a row without the title character. Perhaps they've decided to drop him at the pub for Sundays. After all, he doesn't want to break the Sabbath by working.

And another 3 panel gag stretched to the Sunday limits. I can't think of anything pretentious to say about this one except, did they see a porno? Are they wearing kercheifs on their heads? Is this turn of the century working class London? (Well, the women in working class Liverpool wore them in Across the Universe, but that movie had nurses in syringes, among other things, so I'm not accepting it as the utmost authority on kercheif wearing Brits.)

Considering what they did see, I'm kind of glad Andy's not there. I seriously can't think of a non-porn reason for a football team to be in a shower together. Or even hetero porn... wait... Get Fuzzy and the Boondocks and sometimes Doonesbury have everybody breathing down their necks, and this gets through?

Wow, if they don't get in trouble for it, I will be quite impressed. Not impressed by the stretched out joke, that's still terrible, but by the risque nature of it. And this is not the usual comic risque. But then again, do any papers still carry Andy Capp? Does anyone still read it for comprehension?

Like, you see it at first and you're like, "Oh, those dumb broads. They don't like movies with meanings, they just like looking at cute guys." and leave it at that. Unfortunately, I had to keep thinking and here we are.

Good night.

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Yet another new feature!

Here we are again. You there wanting to read some funny shit. Me here trying to write some funny shit. Well, this time I'm just going to point some funny shit out. You see, the newest feature, confined to Saturday for now, is the Weekly Webcomic(horrible title I know, but I've said before I suck at titles). I'm going to scour the internets and try find a webcomic that doesn't suck or possibly make fun of one that does suck. You'd be surprised how many webcomics are out there that are terrible or out of date.

But I've found one for you this week, unfortunately I can't really post the comic on this page. You see, it's called The Happy Penis. Yeah, you read that correctly. I've been reading the archives and it can be really funny or really gross, sometimes together. If you don't mind looking at drawn penises I highly recommend this comic for you.

The Happy Penis

Please leave comments if you like this feature or if you hate it. But only about the feature, not about the choice of the week, I understand not everyone wants to see penises that act like people. If you are one of those people then check back next week for the new choice.

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Saturday:The Week in Comics Review

Welcome one and all to your Saturday DCR. I still haven't come up with a good title and no one seems to want to help. But I'll struggle through and try to say some funny shit anyway. With that here's what we have this week:


Snapshots 1/12/09
When I first saw the panel I thought it would be something about Almost-Former-President Bush. It really would be funnier if it was, the only thing that saves this from being completely boring is the divide by zero comment. I'm not sure why he needs to be swinging from a chandelier to claim that, but I'm not a professional. And I don't think that's such a bad thing, if someone could figure out how to divide by zero I think mathematicians would like to know about it. I know I would.



Least I could Do 1/12/09
I don't really get this one. So, he had a dream that he was the Hulk and smashed her in the back? Wouldn't it be funnier if she'd dreamt that she was She-Hulk and punched him in the dick? I think that would be hilarious, but I'm kind of a bastard sometimes.



Zack Hill 1/12/09This is good because it's true. My parents don't know what texting is about and what all the abbreviations mean. However, I think that if they cared to learn they would probably know what LOL means since it's the most basic shortening of all.

Also, if they'd been texting all day, why did he wait until now to mention his dead cat? Did it die because he was texting and forgot to feed it? That seems like the most likely explanation to me.

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