Manic Monday

Today I tell you why the comic is funny and then tell you why it's not funny.

Today also marks a first appearance of Unstrange Phenomena which proves that just because something is new doesn't mean it's funny.

Also, you almost didn't get this post as Monday is the most evil of days. I hate Mondays almost as much as I hate Garfield.

Also also, Mike P of Meekrat Entertainment did a very nice post on Sunday explaining B.C. You should read it, it's probably right under this post so when you're done just keep scrolling a bit and you'll find it.

Onward, to comics!

Unstrange Phenomena 8/31/09

It's funny because no one would ever want to have 1-D vision as it would make everything look like a line.

Wait that's not funny.



Momma 8/31/09

It's funny because mothers tend to be overprotective of their children even after they are adults and perfectly capable of making their own decisions.

Wait, Momma's son isn't capable of making his own decisions as proven by the fact that he still lives with his mother and isn't in school or employed. So this isn't funny at all, but a cautionary tale of how easily your life could be worse.



Marmaduke 8/31/09

It's funny because Marmaduke is an over-sized dog yet his Owner-Man still plays with him as if he were a regular size dog.

Wait, that's not funny because Marmaduke will just rape you and then feast on your entrails.

Well, that's kind of funny at least.

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Sunday Best: The Dark Secret of "B.C."!

The typical "B.C." strip (from 08/17/2009):

Cavemen anachronistically interacting with dinosaurs while telling rather tame jokes. Occasionally, they'll do caveman-type things:

(from 8/27/2009)

And there's also ants and turtles and stuff that talk, and for a while it was all preachy and most days it was just one of the cavemen standing by a rock reading a lame definition or pun. It's gotten a lot better since the new guy took over, though, but that's not why we're here today. We're here today because of the strip's dark secret. What if I told you that the strip wasn't about cavemen at all, but was rather a grim portent of things to come: a post-apocalyptic hellscape where humanity has been reduced to less than a dozen people and the animals have evolved sentience! A strip taking place in a perhaps not so far-flung future. It's true, and to support my claim, I bring to you this strip from 2004:

(from 07/06/2004, to be exact)

I think this speaks for itself.

When read with this in mind, it goes from whimsical caveman shenanigans to whimsical post-apocalypse shenanigans and all the seeming anachronisms make sense. Perhaps this strip was designed to take place after the Rapture, which would explain why these cavemen seemed to so fervently seek solace in Christianity.

What has happened, canonically, since the death of Johnny Hart? Have the "cavemen" become so despondent that there is no longer any solace in faith? Perhaps they have realized that the only way they can make their lives better is to stop dwelling in the past and work towards a better future? Whatever the reason, now you know that "BC" isn't about cavemen at all... it's about life after some sort of apocalypse.

I'll be back next week with something else, maybe, if the Man doesn't stop me from exposing his dark truths. If not, you can always just read my stuff at the Meekrat Entertainment Group.

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The downturn continues turning down

Today was even worse than yesterday, comics-wise. When will this downturn end? It's even affecting adventure strips, and what sort of day is it when the "Spider-Man" strip isn't bad enough to mock? Well, here we go. I shall endeavor to do my best.

Yenny, 08/27/09

Technically from yesterday, but it showed up in the ol' DCR inbox today. The problem with this one is that, unless that girl is going to become the physical embodiment of patience, then it should be "patient". This isn't the first time I've noticed such a grammatical snafu in this strip, and I'm wondering if it's just a character quirk or an actual error.

Hi and Lois, 08/28/09

Chip is supposed to be in a band, right? Shouldn't he be appreciative of the work that those musicians have done? I mean, it's Paul McCartney. He was one of the Beatles, for god's sake. If you're going to just dismiss him as a old man rocker, then you're really selling him short.

Born Loser, 08/28/09

That guy gets it. Except, with the sliding time-line used in comic strips as well as comic books, shouldn't Brutus Thornapple be more aware of who Ozzy Osbourne is, even if he wasn't a fan? Shouldn't what I'm assuming is an "Oz Fest" t-shirt tip him off? Unless they're just portraying Brutus as a loser, which is very likely. I have some choice words to say about this strip at some later date. It'll be a theme post.

Dilbert, 08/28/09

Don't worry, Dilbert. I'm sure there are girls who'd appreciate a guy who has that cell phone app. Your real problems are the fact that you're pear-shaped and you have hair that looks like broccoli.

Judge Parker, 08/28/09

That man looks like a shaved ape. All I have to say about this.

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Today's sort of lame.

Annie was surprisingly not crazy today, which was disappointing, as now I only have two comic strips to post on today because I was feeling generous today and decided to grant several strips the benefit of the doubt as what they were portraying befit the supposed "joke" of the strip. In any case, two strips is even less than what I usually comment on, and now that I have the shameless plug out of the way let's begin:

Cathy, 08/27/09

I've never seen blue khakis, but apparently the people coloring this strip have. Or they just ignored the fact that they were supposed to be khakis. Yes, I just started this post by mocking a miscoloring. You shouldn't have high hopes for today, folks.

"Brilliant" Mind of Edsion Lee, 08/27/09

Why the heck would a comic strip base a storyline around a movie that's over ten years old, and is based on a show that hasn't been on the air since 1980? Why would a kid as young as Edison be wanting to have a "Wild Wild West" adventure? And yes, this is in direct relation to the franchise: they spent the past week talking about why Edison Lee is like Artemus Gordon. Furthermore, what kind of a crappy name is Doctor Sinister? Dexter (from "Dexter's Laboratory") would have thought of a better name.

Also, it's unlikely that Edison Lee's "Wild Wild West" adventure could be half as good as the one Cartman had nearly a decade ago on "South Park."

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If Only I Had A Book Deal

In this post I get offended by a comic and then defend my position. It isn't very funny, unless you hate me or something then it might be funny.

But don't leave just yet! There are other comics that I do write funny things about. Well, they aren't that funny, but more funny than the one that I got mad at.

B.C. 8/26/09

I don't think a regular person would train their dog to maim. And I really don't think that 'maim' would be the word they would use. I'm thinking it would be something along the lines of 'kill' or 'attack' or perhaps 'get the homo'(exclusively for use in Texas) but maybe that's just the way I would do it.



The Boiling Point 8/26/09

I didn't give this one much thought when I first saw it but it stuck with me. I think it's because of the generalization of bloggers as people just trying to get rich and famous. I'm not going to say that we don't want to be rich and famous, but I don't think that most bloggers have that as their main goal. It would be stupid to think that millions of people want to hear about your life so much that they would pay for it.

I can't speak for the countless bloggers out there, but I mostly do this because I enjoy it. It's nice to see that other people like what I write or even that they hate it enough to make a comment, but it isn't really necessary. The other blog I do rarely gets more than 10 views a day and I'm still updating that one because it's a labor of love, I'm not in it for the money. If I was, I would have quit by now because I haven't made any.



Bozo 8/26/09

I don't have any commentary on this comic, I just enjoyed it because it's clever.

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I Hate This Comic

Today is Tuesday. If you didn't know that, then I'm glad that I could do something worthwhile with my time.

Stone Soup 8/25/09

Isn't Holly in junior high? Shouldn't she already know the multiplication tables? Is this the beginning of a mentally-handicapped-people-are-people-to storyline in Stone Soup? I hope not, Stone Soup sucks and any mention of the mentally-handicapped in it would be a disservice to the mentally-handicapped, who are too smart to enjoy Stone Soup.



Loose Parts 8/25/09

Let's just say that God did invent the universe. Why would he need to be validated by the Guiness Book of World Records? Why can't he be happy with the several religions dedicated to Him?

Or perhaps this is just for comedic purposes and not meant to be thought about deeply. Let's go with that.



Ziggy 8/25/09

The Freudian slip that was originally written: Fuck!...i HATE THiS YONT!


Why do all letter 'I's in Ziggy appear in lower case? It bothers me greatly



Fred Basset 8/25/09

This could have been the best comic strip ever if that last panel had been left off or drawn differently. Even as it is the almost bestiality joke is pretty funny.



Imagine This 8/25/09

What kind of creature wants to eat something that has been marinated in shit? I'll tell you: a creature that I don't want to meet.

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I've Got That Sinking Feeling

Hello. Due to many stresses there will not be weekend posts for an undetermined amount of time. Sorry to the 20 people that cared about the Saturday post and the 2 people that haven't realized there hasn't been a Sunday post for months.


Arlo & Janis 8/24/09

When you don't have a joke simply insert a nauseating exchange between husband and wife. Or you could just not have a joke, which is what Arlo & Janis normally does.



Ballard Street 8/24/09

It might be easier for her to find stuff if she would stop dropping acid every morning.

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Things are wrong today.

I've nothing to say in this little intro except that you should go visit the Meekrat Entertainment Group and partake of the message boards, which really need a new name. If anyone has any ideas on what that name should be, drop by the message boards and let us know.

Hagar the Horrible, 8/20/09 and 8/21/09

What's wrong with Hagar the Horrible today? It... looks very off. Hagar, who usually has Fred Flintstone-like hands has normal hands, which looks a little weird but wouldn't be as noticeable if it wasn't for the lettering. I mean, here's yesterday's strip:

That's what it's been like since forever, really, and I have to wonder what's going on to make it change. Is there a new artist or something? Only time will tell, I guess.

Cow and Boy, 8/21/09

...unless this psychotic boy hunts us all down first. That girl has every right to be freaked out by this.

Fred Basset, 8/21/09

The boy isn't the only one getting into the killin' mood. Fred Basset, who is usually quite congenial, has bird-related blood-lust. Quite an angry comics page today. Don't go without a weapon or you'll wind up like this guy...

Speed Bump, 8/21/09

Buried in a shallow grave. The joke will be on them when the decomposition sets in and all the crows and whatnot feast upon the exposed flesh.

Neurotica, 8/21/09

Nope, just a bad joke.

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Better late than never?

Hey everyone. I'm back again, so let's get right down to the question on everyone's lips: is Annie still insane?

Annie, 8/20/09

An ancient Atlantean with a pet dinosaur interacting with cowboys while trying to keep said dinosaur from getting spotted by the Air Force. Yep, still pretty insane. What's more is that Annie seems to be resigned to her fate of being in an insane comic strip.

Tina's Groove, 8/20/09

The fact that there's such things at catscopes is probably even more insane than Annie. On a different note, I've always wondered why Tina looks so depressed in every single comic strip. She constantly looks like she's on the verge of tears, which is not very groovy.

Bliss, 8/20/09

Frankenstein's monster would suck pretty badly at basketball, I think. He'd try to do a jump shot only to realize he left his feet behind. He may be able to dunk, however, but I don't think his wrists would be very good at dribbling.

Close to Home, 8/20/09

This would sound no different from normal talking, unless she's just saying the letters. In which case, that's really freaking stupid. I do like the name Katie Hunter, though. It deserves to be used for something much better than a lame one-panel cartoon.

Natural Selection, 8/20/09

Part of me feels bad about picking on this cartoon, but the geeky part of me is shoving that part out of the way. Godzilla was played by a series of Asian men, all of relatively normal stature save for the fact that they had pretty good strength and stamina. They needed it because the costume weighed so much. And with that, I'm off.

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Is It That Time Already?

Yesterday sucked. Today is better.


9 Chickweed Lane 8/19/09

Everyone likes to look into a woman's ass as they talk to her. It's just that it's really hard most of the time. So thank you, giant person holding woman's ass in the air.



Betty 8/19/09

South Park beat you to the punch on this one by quite a long time. Must be at least 3 years by now. Man, that was a good episode. Unlike Betty, it was actually funny.



Frazz 8/19/09

Frazz has been going on and on and on about this kid all summer. He doesn't pay attention to the game he is playing and dances around but somehow makes catches anyway. Woohoo. I think Frazz is turning into a new age Mary Worth or something.



Marmaduke 8/19/09

I know, I know. I said Marmaduke wouldn't be making regular appearances, but come on. This one is just too good. The Anderson's aren't even trying to disguise Marmaduke's ravenous hunger for human flesh. Usually there is some lame attempt to hide his true intent with puns, but here we see the dread in Owner-Man and Owner-Lady's eyes as they realize that Marmaduke is going to be feasting on at least one of them.

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Don't Like It? Text Us!

It is now Tuesday. With that knowledge we can assume that xy is bringing you humour and that he will do so tomorrow as well.



Dog Eat Doug 8/18/09

Awesome. My only question is how does the baby know what devoured means? If the baby knows that, then surely it can know that the dog is lying.



Brainwaves 8/18/09

Clearly someone has never watched CNN recently. They are constantly bombarding you with Twitter this and Facebook that. It's really annoying. We watch so you can tell us the news not so we can tell you the news.



Cathy 8/18/09

Cathy obviously doesn't watch TV or she would know that gray is not hot. They even have a commercial about it. The old man is in a bar with his gray beard and gets shot down by a 40 year old hottie(?). Then Walt Frazier gives him Just For Men and his beard is turned jet black. Now he can score any hottie he wants. Stupid Cathy.

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The End of Cathy is Upon Us (I Hope)

It is Monday. Enjoy the day while you can, for soon it will be Tuesday.


Cathy 8/17/09

The writer of Cathy has no other material except for 'women are obessessed about their appearance' jokes. With luck this will signal the end of Cathy.

Also, if the movie started 10 minutes ago then there really isn't a point in going to that movie because by the time you get to the theater it will be mostly over. Unless they live right on top of the theater.



Marmaduke 8/17/09

In all my years of reading Marmaduke, which goes far beyond the Internet, I do not recall a panel that was divided in two. Perhaps this is a new creative direction for the Anderson's. It's not like they can get any worse.



Luann 8/17/09

These people are retarded. He is asking the most open-ended question possible in this situation and she doesn't realize that she just needs to lift up her shirt.



Frazz 8/17/09

Hmm. A condition aggravated by bleachers? What could it possibly be? I'm guessing rectal trauma from too many visits to the bath house. Sick bastard.

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Old People are Gross

You get another look at an entire week of one strip. The reviews are short and to the point because I am stretched for time.

This week of Pickles was about sounds that old people make. It was less than humorous.



Pickles 8/10/09

It couldn't possibly be that loud, could it?



Pickles 8/11/09

If dogs are responding to it, he has a serious problem.



Pickles 8/12/09

Yes, please die for a few minutes so I can sleep. Bitch.



Pickles 8/13/09

Who didn't see this coming? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? What a waste of a week and it's not even over yet.



Pickles 8/14/09

What, no sound effect? We got one for the nose whistle, why not the farting?

That dog looks truly terrified.



Pickles 8/15/09

They couldn't squeeze in another joke about the disgusting sounds old people make? What a shame, I hate puns even more than stereotypical jokes.

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