Dogs Can't Get Ph.Ds

Welcome to another Sunday post. But first some self-promotion: I am looking for people to contribute just about whatever they want to my crappy blog the Random Wikipedia Article. What started as a blog about random Wikipedia articles has become boring and kind of pointless. If you would like to contribute then send me an email (which can be obtained through the "About" link on Watch This Space).

Funky Winkerbean 1/31/10

Today's Funky Winkerbean reminds me of when I was younger and my co-hometown had an overpass for an old railroad track that went across a highway that was spraypainted on all the time. Eventually it was torn down and I kind of miss it.

I thought that the overpass in this strip was for a railroad because it doesn't look like a road because you'd be able to see, well a road! The overpass in the background looks like a street overpass.

Beetle Bailey 1/31/10

How did this comic segue from complaining about having a hangover into Sarge not wanting to get married?

Ask Shagg 1/31/10

Really? Someone actually asked that question? Did they intend the question to be a serious or a joke? I sincerely hope it was a joke question because this kid's full name and location is printed here and any kid over the age of 4 should know the color of the cow doesn't change the milk.

The Pajama Diaries 1/31/10

Why do people use GPS when they know where they're going? I'm not going to use GPS to go to one of the Walmarts located within my town.

Cul De Sac 1/31/10

I've seen birds in stores before. Birds in Walmart, birds in Target, birds in the grocery store but I'm pretty sure the store doesn't just the birds stay in there because that's kind of...disgusting.

Ziggy 1/31/10

Thanks, Ziggy. Now when I put a piece of bread in the toaster I'm going to think I'm raping or molesting it.

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Melancholic Ramblings

It's Friday again, folks. Time marches on, inexhaustible and unforgiving. To make the long trek towards your inevitable death less melancholic, why not take a look at Carafe? It has varied comedic stylings, and the current installment will teach you a valuable lesson. Or how about Time-Mind Sync-Warp? Today's nostalgia and misogyny flavored installment will make you feel bittersweet memories of years past and anger at the mistreatment of women. With that, let's focus on comics which appeared today in newspapers and Internets across the world, viewed by hundreds if not thousands of people. You should feel humble, a mere speck of sentience in a sea of humanity.

Off the Mark and Strange Brew, 01/29/10

We start off this lovely Friday with two panels with the same joke. This time, it's about how bears use the woods as a bathroom. We can't go anywhere but up from here, folks!

Arctic Circle, 01/29/10

Especially when we go to Renaissance-era full-frontal nudity. I know it's a work of art and all and you can't really see anything, but if that one old episode of "The Simpsons" is any indication, then people would still get into a huff about this. Especially since it's supposedly a newspaper strip.

Cathy, 01/29/10

If I were Cathy, I'd probably have killed myself years ago. But if I were Cathy in today's strip, then I wouldn't get too excited. Irving is probably smart enough to realize you're holding the DSL cable or whatever, and he intends to plug it back in. Then again, he did marry Cathy, so we can't be sure he's very smart at all.

Moose and Molly, 01/29/10

They never found Moose's body after this ill-fated sled trip.

Gunshow, 01/29/10

I have a question, comic strip. How did that dog survive the fall? Unless it's Demidog. Then it makes perfect sense.

xkcd, 01/29/10

This comic only makes me feel sad for the poor robot. I shall go weep with sadness, and eat cookies in order to make the sadness end. It will not work: I do not have nearly enough cookies.

With that, have a good a weekend folks.

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Fancy Ransom

Have you had your socks rocked off by Carafe yet? If you haven't, go there. If you have, still go there. Especially today, as another one of my comics is up.

Frog Applause, 01/28/10

Someday, I hope I can get paid for just slapping a bunch of nonsense into a panel. You know what would be funny, though? If someone used Frog Applause to send out ransom notes. It'd fit the "style" of the strip, and it'd probably be funnier than whatever we've got today.

Funky Winkerbean, 01/28/10

Lots of sidekicks were orphans, too. All three male Robins eventually turned into orphans. Yeah... that's all I really had to say. Oh, and "Little Orphan Annie" totally doesn't count in this regard.

Basic Instructions, 01/28/10

I just found this funny, especially the second and forth panels. They're all good, but especially those.

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Hot, Non-Living Action

Another glorious Wednesday is upon us!

In other news, have you heard about Carafe? It's a webcomic sort of deal. It doesn't have a storyline and pretty much anybody can submit a comic if they want. I did. It's my debut as a creator of comics and not just a complainer-about-comics. I hope to see you next Tuesday*, when it will run.


*sorry, I couldn't resist.**

**This is for those of you that didn't get it. Click here to find out. Warning: not for younger viewers and/or those offended by things.

Brenda Starr 1/27/10

Because I'm short on time, I'm just going to read the bold words.

Late meeting EDA. EDA? Eco-Developers Association nearly sexy dead body. Harry else needs poor man.

Anyone else confused as to why that guy thinks that the EDA is almost as awesome as necrophilia?



Cathy 1/27/10

He wants to have sex with his . . . phone? iPod? What is that thing?

Well, whatever it is I think it's a safe assumption that it's a better lover than Cathy.



Brewster Rockit 1/27/10

I can't help but feel like Toby the HR bot is similar to something I've seen before . . .

TOBY 1/27/10 and Dilbert 1/23/10

I guess it's not a direct ripoff of either one, but an amalgamation of both of them.

Does that mean that both Pandolph and Adams can sue? I'm pretty sure they won't, but could they if they wanted to?

Also, neither Dilbert nor TOBY are very funny in these particular instances.

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Tuesday Title

Have you ever noticed that you can't rate, vote or comment on the 9 Chickweed Lane comic at Comics.com? I just noticed that today. I wonder why. Brooke McEldowney gives his email address there so maybe he figures, if you have a problem with my strip then you can tell me directly. Why would the creator of such a pretentious as Chickweed and Pibgorn give people his email address to people who might really hate him and his strip? Because Brooke McEldowney will mess you up, that's why.

9 Chickweed Lane 1/26/10

Women don't ask that question. Idiotic men ask that question.

The New Adventures of Queen Victoria 1/26/10

ABC Family only runs "The 700 Club" because it is contractually obligated to. Before each show, ABC Family posts a warning saying that they do not agree with or support the views or opinion on "The 700 Club" and I am pretty sure most Christians do not agree or support the views there either.

The Amazing Spider-Man 1/26/10

Does this mean we will be seeing Spider-Man web-slinging his way around Miami and saving Cubans that are floating on doors to get away from their Communist regime thus forgetting Sabretooth and Wolverine were ever in New York? Probably not but maybe if we'll lucky we'll a good weeks worth of strip showcasing Peter Parker lounging on the couch and talking to the television.

Hey, look. Boobs.

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Not the Mighty One

Man, I don't know what happened. I don't know if I'm just not in the mood for comics or what but I hardly found any worth taking a look at. But here are a couple for your...whatever.

Popeye 1/25/10

Anybody remember that cartoon series (and toy line) "Mighty Max"? This strip reminded me a lot of when Max, Virgil and Norman had to go to Zero Island (a fictional island located at zero degrees latitude and longitude) to battle a two-headed dragon Skullmaster was controlling. One head was light and the other darkness and each thought their half was more powerful. I have the full series on bootleg DVD. I should watch some more episodes tomorrow.

Panel from The Grizzwells 1/25/10

Wow! Nothing more to say here. On that note, I bid you good day.

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65 Years and Counting....

Betty White, star of such classic TV shows as Mary Tyler Moore, Golden Girls and many, many other was honored at the Screen Actor Guild Awards with the Lifetime Achievement Award which commemorated not only her 88th birthday but also her 65th year of acting. I am a huge fan of Ms. White and wish her all the best. Here's to 65 more years! Wait, something's wrong with that sentence...

Garfield 1/24/10

Yes, Garfield. Murder Jon. There shall be no more snow this winter. Anywhere!!

One Big Happy 1/24/10

"Go get a cab!" Classic episode of I Love Lucy right there. Sadly, this episode will now forever be sullied because it was used in this strip.

Joe has massive delusions of grandeur.

Frog Applause 1/24/10

If there is a God and if God is a man then this would be God's glory hole.

Annie 1/24/10

I love the art in Annie but the lack of pupils (which I know is the art style of this strip) is a bit distracting. But you know if they started adding pupils to the characters people would be outraged.

Broom Hilda 1/24/10

*Sigh* Not a joke anywhere in this strip. I was the Maple Leaf Festival a few years ago (every third weekend in October in beautiful Baldwin City, Kansas) and this woman behind us said "a ladybug landed on me" and the guy next to her said "better get it off, they'll bite you". Ladybugs? Bite? Whatever crazy old man.

FoxTrot 1/24/10

If I were Paige or if Morton were gay, I would not be able to answer this question because I suck at math. I mean, I really suck at math.

Ginger Meggs 1/24/10

Because typically caffeine doesn't occupy possibly valuable time that you could be using for more important things than trying to defeat New Super Mario Bros. Wii with Blue Toad.

Family Circus 1/24/10

Or it can also be apparent that:
1)you're a whore and will sleep with anything;
2)you are a 40-year-old man-child;
and 3)you don't bathe.

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Untapped Potential

Hey there, folks. As it turns out, web-comics are in my juridstiction for review on this site. And I read a bunch of the blasted things, so when I see one I want to put up here I'm going to. I promise I won't just keep putting my comics up. Even though today's is double-sized and you should read it. Anyway, here we go:

Prickly City, 01/22/10

I usually don't like Prickly City, because the art is terrible and it's one of the most stupidly political comics ever, but this past week, it's cared about its art and the storyline (recapped in the first panel) is all right. I especially like Lizard-Girl's gung-ho attitude towards fighting crime conflicting with Cactus Coyote's attitude as to what constitutes "good" or "evil". It hasn't been too bad, and it's a shame that next week will be back to the same old garbage it usually is.

New Adventures of Queen Victoria, 01/22/10

Leno is quite a scary person. I'm mainly putting this up for Conan's line in panel four. How he's been put into the panel and everything is just really well-done.

Rip Haywire, 01/22/10

That kid could fit through the bars with no trouble. In fact, with bars that thin, I don't think they'd have any trouble bending them, even. Unlike the bars used in my comic. You couldn't escape those in a hurry.

Mike Luckovich, 01/22/10

I am already so freaking tired of this song. I'd be tired of it even if a friend hadn't texted me the lyrics every single day this week. I want this song to go away and never, ever return.

Rubes, 01/22/10

I don't think he's cocky as much as he is insane, and that is a very large leap to make for a pun.

Shark Attack Comics, 01/22/10

This comic, on the other hand, is genius. It features a shark messing with some guy in every installment. It's a new take on a classic tale. Also, sometimes the shark wears a hat or a wig or glasses, and it's more amazing than you'd think. Go take a look.

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Light Load

Light load today, folks. If you're still aching to read stuff, though, may I suggest the Meekrat Entertainment Group? Or perhaps Carafe, which has been proven to rock your socks off? Or perhaps Time-Mind Sync-Warp, which is another new webcomic sensation? All of them are available for your reading pleasure. Now then, on with the commentary:

New Adventures of Queen Victoria, 1/21/10

Oscar Wilde is a character in this strip, right? I want to see a wit-off between Conan O'Brien and Oscar Wilde. Such a thing would be epic and probably only of interest to about five people, but I am one of those five people, darn it. Make it happen, whoever makes this strip.

Natural Selection, 1/20/10

This is a comic panel about a man who is about to mount a dog. The dog is, rightfully, screaming in terror. Don't know how he can do that, but stress can make a person (or dog) do amazing things.

Flight Deck, 1/20/10

This panel is not funny. If you have to explain who someone is within the panel in order for the joke to be gotten, then you're trying entirely too hard. Also, a person's height has nothing to do with basketball skill. I'm sure it helps, but it's not everything.

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Have You Ever Noticed That Blog Post Titles Usually Suck?

New Adventures of Queen Victoria 1/20/10

Nothing to say here, I just like this one.

Brewster Rockit 1/20/10

Again, not much to say, I'm just a sucker for references.



Adam@Home 1/20/10

How old is Adam's kid? He looks around 10 or so and that seems a bit early to introduce All Nude Lesbian Mud Wrestling to someone. But it would be a good way to make money.



Eek! 1/20/10

Here's a thought, if you have water to make ice, which you clearly do since you have Iced Urine and Urine Smoothees, why not drink the water that you used to make the ice.

And yes, I realize that the ice could be made from urine, but that renders what I just wrote moot. And nobody wants that.

Real Life Adventures 1/20/10

I want a subscription to Rooms magazine. I hope one day I can get my room into its prestigious pages.

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Conan, Leno and Stripper Dogs

The New Adventures of Queen Victoria 1/19/10

Poor Conan. He didn't deserve the ass pounding both NBC and Leno gave him. Leno is a jerk. I used to think he was a decent guy but not so much anymore. I'm sure the wording in their contracts was very clear but if I were Leno I would've just sat back, maybe do a few comedy specials over the next couple of years and then see how Conan is doing.

Conan should come here and write some comic strip commentary. We can't afford to pay him but his services would be very welcome.

Natural Selection 1/19/10

*Shudder* I'm going to go pour pure alcohol in my eyes now. I have now seen things I cannot un-see.

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