Farewell and Oh Hell

You've already heard, and probably read in a few other places, that My Cage has been cancelled. What you may not have seen is Ed Power's statement over in the comments of Comics Curmudgeon.

Ed is very gracious and went out of his way to compliment King Features for keeping My Cage in print as long as they did. Apparently the strip did not appear in enough newspapers to make money. So if, as Brian put it on Sunday, you think that measuring comics based on how many of the dying newspapers they run in is a accurate gauge of success, the cancellation makes perfect sense.

I have my doubts since this same measure protects stuff like Grin and Bear It, Mary Worth, and Crock.

(I know, I'm not being fair. Mary Worth is actually funny.)

Newspaper editors are trying to keep their jobs, or find new ones, or both. They are not taking chances on new strips. That's why strips like Marmaduke, that can't even come up with 365 new gags in a year, are still around and fracking Cathy is ended by the "artist," not because someone actually tried to read it.

King Features, of course, operates DailyInk.com. DailyInk.com is only major newspaper comics site that still requires a subscription fee. My Cage was very popular online. How was King Features unable to tie My Cage to revenue?

Could it be because they have no idea who reads what, even though they have their content locked up behind a "pay wall"? Could it be that their site is so screwed up and technologically out of date that more people were reading My Cage from other online sources that the syndicate that is supposed to distribute it?

It is possible that King doesn't even look at online popularity at all, and DailyInk.com is just some side project that "doesn't count?"

DailyInk.com has not been upgraded or redesigned since it was launched in 2002 (the same year we all waited in anticipation for the release of The Two Towers while playing Vice City), and is down far more often than the other 2 major sites. Like Friday, for example — whose e-mail arrived on Saturday and today, where half of my strips are missing from my e-mail. "Content not available."

It is the only site that gives you no way to share their strips via social media sites. (Ecards? Really?) After all, if we could share the strips someone might fracking read them and then become fans.

King Features' web efforts are pathetic and it looks like terrible place for a creator to have a comic that is popular online. Newspapers are going to die, and as it stands right now, King Features is going to die with them.

On the bright side, at least that would put the residents of Westview out of their misery.

Mandrake the Magician, August 31, 2010

But before they go, we may get to see some Twilight fans get killed in Mandrake. That'll be cool.

The Pajama Diaries, August 31, 2010

If you saw the extras on the "Super Size Me" DVD (which was released 2 years after DailyInk was, by the way), McDonald's french fries are actually made from an inert substance with a half-life of about 1,000,000,000 years. So the Kaplans must go to a family-owned burger-and-fry joint. Good for them.

Brewster Rockit, August 31, 2010

Thanks Brewster, I needed a laugh.

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The week begins, and how better to begin your week than with Arkholt giving you some moderately amusing comic blurbs?

Grin and Bear It:

What Senator Snort doesn't realize is that gravy trains can be retrofitted to run solely on gravy.  No need for a battery even.  It's a proven fact that gravy produces electricity when given the right motivation.  Unfortunately, no one knows yet what exactly that motivation is.  More study is needed.

Moose and Molly:

If he moved, and the building's being demolished, you think they'd remove the sign and the doorway.  If I was the big guy with the hat, I'd take the sign home and hang it on the front of my house so people thought I was an eye doctor.  I may have to do an actual eye exam or two to keep up the ruse, but how hard is it to shine a light in someone's eyes?

Bizarro:

Last time I did a Bizarro panel I made a fool of myself by not knowing about the hidden "symbols." I don't read Bizarro that much...  This one caught my eye, though.  I get the point, but here's my question: Where does the power cord for the projector go?  That's not easily answered by posting a Wikipedia link, unlike my previous Bizarro question.

Crock:

"Have you ever been...?" Does this imply that it's just around somewhere and you can get on if you want?  It appears you can only go on if you have a counterpart of the opposite gender with you.  Is this some side business that Noah is running?  Also, what's with the tent/igloo made of sand?  I guess it must stay cool in there.

Ollie and Quentin:

Not men, but in fact barbershop singing worms.  They could have been a quartet, but the other worm didn't feel like joining in, I guess.  Perhaps they'll fall into a pond and be some lucky fish's lunch.

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My Cage 8/29/10

For those of you who don't know, My Cage is coming to an end on October 31st.  Not because the creators want to end it but because it isn't "popular" enough.  My Cage has worked its way up to become one my favorite contemporary comics and it upsets me that the number of newspapers a comic strip is in is still the standard in judging how popular a comic strip is.  Nothing like judging a medium that can grow and evolve alongside a medium that is slowly dying.

Cul De Sac 8/29/10

Why...are they not wearing 3D glasses?  Without the glasses the picture would be all fuzzy and hard to see.  I mean, it's not like drawing 3D glasses would've ruined the joke.

Beetle Bailey 8/29/10

I had forgotten Beetle Bailey was turning 60 this year because I've been focusing more on Peanuts turning 60.  I thought today's strip looked odd so I'm glad they finally got around to telling me this strip is from 1969 when Mort was apparently on drugs and threw even more gay jokes into his work.

Moose and Molly 8/29/10

Chester seems to have been having some Moose issues the last few Sundays.  I love how Moose will forgo certain laws like trespassing and destruction of property just to swim in a pool.

The Born Loser 8/29/10

It's back to school for the Thornapples and Wilberforce is already trying to figure out ways to get out of going.  I guess a blizzard could be possible but I'd be hoping more for the air conditioning to go out with 105 degree heat then you would probably be closer to getting out of school.

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It Ain't Easy Being Green

Hey everyone, Zachary the Stupid Inventor here. My apoligies for the really late post. I was away from my computer all day yesterday, and since it's a review of that day's comics, I couldn't write it earlier.... oh well, next we should be back to the regular posting time!


The Bad:
Girls And Sports: I usually try not to feature this comic in the Bad section because it's just so consistently bad that it's just too easy to always feature it... but believe me, even though it's not here every week, it's almost always bad...

The Wizard of Id: This is a horrible strip and a HUGE nitpick. When I first read it I didn't get it at all, but then I re-read it in my local paper, and in my paper the Apple seller is colored Green! It's supposed to be the witch from Snow White. The joke still doesn't make sense though, I mean if her apples are poison she should be in jail.... So the joke is lame and makes no sense, and the drawing of the Witch is so bad, you don't see the wart on the nose and the hat is to similar to the standard peasant hat.... all in all I was amazed by this strips incompetence....

Nitpicks
Drabble: The joke is ok, but "Balk" could just as closely resemble "Bark" as it does "Walk"... Wow, I totally over-analyze, no?


Strange Brew: I'm not animal expert, but don't sharks have like rows and rows of teeth? so a cavity or lost tooth is no biggie to them? I think you could have made the same joke better by having the Shark at the Shark doctor getting on the scale and the doctor saying the same line. Jut my humble unprofessional opinion of course...




The Good:


Rhymes With Orange: I don't know why, but I find the "Type-Os" cereal idea to be hilarious!


Brewster Rockit: This is my favorite comic strip that apparently noone knows about. Why this comic isn't in every newspaper worldwide is beyond me....


Pearls Before Swine: I love a good meta strip, and Stephan Pastis is the master.... poor pig!

Ok, that's it for me, I'll be back next Wednesday with a comic review, on time!

Thanks,
Zachary
Stupid Inventor

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The More Childish, the Better

If it's Tuesday, this must be the Daily Comics Review!

Do me a favor. If you have a dog, or know someone with a dog, check out Dog Spelled Forward or steer your friends there. I think it's a pretty decent blog, if I say so myself.

Comics!

Funky Winkerbean, August 24, 2010

Well, the prospect of capitalizing on Les' book sure pulled Funky out of his, er, funk.

But on to the funny bits.

Vintage Phantom, August 24, 2010

The last panel needs a thought balloon: "Damn! Was it the bare-handed deer hunting or the native campfire dances?"


Brewster Rockit, August 24, 2010

I really love this strip. Plays on "Uranus" are among the oldest jokes around, but they never fail, do they?

I've mentioned how much I enjoy Brenda Starr's utter refusal to take itself seriously before. The past few days are a great example.

Brenda Starr August 22, 2010

Brenda Starr August 23, 2010

Brenda Starr August 24, 2010

From "tv people are so melodramatic" to the barbs over reality show producers vs. reporters, the strip is a wonderful contrast from the other adventure/drama serials still in print. The fact that, on Sunday at least, Binky bares a slight resemblance to Danny DeVito is a little bonus.

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Yep, it's Monday.  Hopefully there's some comic blurbs in here that will cheer you up on the depressing beginning of your new week.

Big Nate:
 

Yes, it certainly begins early, doesn't it?  Young boys justify their drawing of scantily clad women by saying "It's my comic book!  I'm gonna be a comic book artist!" Only a small fraction of them actually become comic book artists, and fortunately only a fraction of those draw comics with a number of panels featuring "just one big butt." The majority of them live in Japan.

Wizard of Id:

This is why the rule in golf is to yell "fore" prior to swinging the club, and not after, so that people can look out for the ball and not get hit by it.  In the meantime, the king ought to begin training an army of elite golf soldiers.  I bet they could take out quite a few people.

F-Minus:

Oh, but that IS sheep's clothing.  Don't you know that sheep these days are only wearing the finest designer suits?

Agnes:

Can someone from Eastern Europe tell me if this is a real thing, and if so, if it's actually a popular snack?  It sounds odd, to say the least.  That's just the type of esoteric humor you expect from Agnes.

B.C.:

Awesome.  The wolf became a porcupine.  Hopefully they use the spiky wolf in the future.  It could be highly dangerous, and highly amusing.

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147 years ago yesterday, the town of Lawrence, Kansas was burned down by pro-slavery marauders. Don't worry, it got better. There were slim pickens today which is kind of disappointing. But I can't control what the cartoonists do.

Wee Pals 8/22/10

If only it was that easy.

Now those kids are going to make him sign a treaty and then Rocky will only be able to hang out in a specified 6x6 reservation three states away from where he actually lives.

Family Circus 8/22/10

I am all for long vacation but this has been the longest. Vacation. Ever.

Ziggy 8/22/10

George Clooney actually makes me feel insignificant.

Born Loser 8/22/10

WHO IS WILBERFORCE TALKING TO?!!

I read through all of this and I don't even get a joke at the end. Not even a chuckle? But honestly, when does anyone ever get a chuckle from The Born Loser?

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Comic strip characters aren't as hairy as they should be

Happy weekend, everybody.  Bah, enough with the cheesy intros.  On with the comic stuff.

Reality Check:

 To me, "stick on a stick" just looks like two sticks.  I guess to a beaver it looks like a stick on a stick.  I think it would be more effective to call it "Two sticks for the price of one!" Then people would think they were getting a deal.  Of course, you still charge them the same amount you would charge for two sticks, but they don't know that.

Family Circus:

"No, Jeffy, but neither do I apparently.  No chest hair either, unless the small amount I have is actually covered up with this book, which happens to be 'Smile!'"

Moderately Confused:

 
Getting that tattoo took the entire summer?  Wow.  That would definitely be an ordeal.  Spending an entire summer in a tattoo parlor without even getting a tattoo would be an ordeal in itself.  Congratulations on your courage and bravery, kid.

Zits:

Hey, the Asst. Principal shouldn't feel bad.  At my school, the Principal didn't even get a locker.  Here, not only does he get one, but he gets a sign.  How many students get signs in front of their lockers, huh?  Being stuck in that confined space is hard, but he should still feel lucky.

Tiger:

Wow.  I never remember bright red explosions going along with a thunderstorm.  I guess they don't realize that it's not just a thunderstorm but an actual war going on out there.  They may need the dog to defend them.  Unfortunately, the dog is a coward.

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Choose Your Own Commentary!

CHOOSE YOUR OWN COMMENTARY! The first two strips have multiple commentaries. You can read just one, or read them all! Or none of them, because this is so horribly late because I completely forgot about it.

Grin and Bear It

A) You know what's almost as old as that Colosseum? Jokes about vuvuzelas.
B) Yes, because I'm sure that a structure which has been around since 80AD would be put down by annoying noises. If all Roman structures had this flaw, then the first thing I'm doing when they invent time machines is go back to ancient Rome with a few kazoos. I'll be their emperor before long!

Off the Mark

A) I remember "Dilbert" having a punchline which featured Dilbert dressed as Dungbeetleman. Not saying this strip stole that, just that hey, dung beetle jokes.
B) One would have to assume that Dungbeetleman would have super-powers along the lines of the Prince from the "Katamari" games.
C) This is the second panel featuring super-heroes in as many days from "Off the Mark". I wonder if this trend will continue, or this was just a brief hiccup.

The Phantom

This storyline was supposed to last well into next year, but I guess it's either wrapping up or the Phantom will find and rescue Diana and then there'll be some more stuff about him tracking down the Python. In the old Disney Comics "DuckTales" comic, they had something similar, except replace "Phantom" with "Uncle Scrooge", "Diana" with "Webby", and the "Python" with "Magica DeSpell".

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Things

Yo, peeps. It's Thursday, which means that I'm all up in your hizzy. Here's some comic commentary. Can you dig it?

My Cage

Could "My Cage" be delving into epic story-lines? Will we see Norm's child face down against Violet's in a battle between good and evil, all the while hints are dropped as to what happened to the humans?

Probably not. Which is most likely a good thing, as the strip's fine how it is.

Lola

The best super-power to have would be Nightcrawler-esque teleportation. Not only is it able to be used offensively, but it's a good way to get around.

Cow and Boy

There's a song by "They Might Be Giants" about a guy who only has two songs in him, but then he wrote a third. M. Night is sort of like that guy, except he keeps making movies regardless of how many are in him.

Marmaduke

Marmaduke should just devolve (or evolve?) into a daily panel where Marmaduke encounters the supernatural and whatnot. You know, sort of like Scooby-Doo, except Marmaduke is probably more of a threat to mankind than anything he could encounter.

Off the Mark

Ending today on a high note. This is just a fantastic panel right here.

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Today's Comics Have Crabs

Hey everyone, Zachary the Stupid Inventor back again for this Wednesday's comics review!
Let's begin, shall we?

The Bad:
Luann: I have the same exact reaction as Quill in the 2nd panel when I read this strip.... zing!

Lio: I'm a big fan of Lio, I really am. I even bought the brand new book that's out. But I must say I was severely disappointed with today's Lio strip. First of all, the first panel doesn't make sense after you see the "joke" in the second. So this store doesn't sell seafood, it sells specially made cakes FOR crabs to eat? I was just going to ignore this strip and pretend like it never happened but I remember posting back in July about a different crab cake strip:

Off The Mark: This strip is from July 21st (is it weird that I remember this?) and pretty much the same idea, but the end product makes more sense and is a lot funnier. I'm not saying Mark Tatulli copied the crab cake idea, I'm just saying that it's bad enough today's Lio wasn't funny, even worse that it didn't make sense, and REALLY bad since it's not even the first comic to make a "Crab Cake" joke...
Solution: Just my humble opinion, but I think the Lio strip could have been saved by having Lio in the first panel looking in a cook book with the title of the recipe being "Crab Cake", and then having a scared crab peeking in through the kitchen door and then the same second panel.... would have worked a lot better in my opinion, but feel free to disagree with me in the comments!


Nitpicks!
Reality Check: I didn't find this strip so funny, but I just wanted to point out how weird it looks that they're supposed to be "eating dinner" but there is only bones left. My guess is that a half eaten animal would be considered too gory for the comics page, which makes sense. So I think the cartoonist compensated by giving the animals full cheeks and food sticking out... thought that was worth mentioning.

Curtis: So his dad had just been sitting in a sweat drenched shirt all this time? I think it would have made more sense if his dad was just coming into the house in panel 1, then took of his shirt while standing in panel 2 and 3, and finally sat down like he is in panel 4.... Still I think the sandwich that Curtis is eating in panel 1 and 2, and the subsequently gagging on in panel 4 is a nice touch, so points for that!

The Good:


Free Range: This panel makes me laugh not just because of the joke, but because of the mental image it inspires for whats going on inside... good job!
Pearls Before Swine: This is a funny storyline so far, but why would finding a bowl allow you to have a casino? I think it's only if you are of Native American decent, no?


Pickles: As an occasional Bow-Tie wearer myself, this storyline has been awesome so far, and also hilarious! Go bow ties!

Ok, that's it for me, see you all next week!
Zachary Snyder
Stupid Inventor

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